You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
