it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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