ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
