whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
