You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize