Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
