She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
