I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
