yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
