Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
