I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
