the day after is always just damage control
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
