She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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