My brain says no but my pants say off.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
