It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
