Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
