She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I believe in your delicious
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
