I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
