Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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