where am i from again
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
