Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
