ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
