Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
