I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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