I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and she was petting her beer can
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
