names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
