she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
