I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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