Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
