two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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