so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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