this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
