They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
