We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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