You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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