Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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