dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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