He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
