would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
