ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
