i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
