I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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