she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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