his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
