I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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