I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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