ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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