Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize