mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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