If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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