don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize