So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
