Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
