its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize