operation have a gay friend backfired
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
