Operation Purity has been aborted
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I think I just sharted jello shots
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
