he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
